mikkeneko:

pervocracy:

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages

shoku-and-awe:

frankpunisher:

this is very important. how do you use the 🙃 emoji

annoyed/angry

happy/silly

something else (rb and add in tags)

THANK YOU for saying “grin and bear it” @fenneko — while I stand by “comically futile despair,” I now realize that this is often my しょうがない or 我慢 (or even “hahahahaha FUCK”) emoji

longhorned:

osama bin laden abuse you

emilybeemartin:

emilybeemartin:

I had a dream that Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli were solving a murder mystery in a giant mansion. Legolas kept eating popcorn.

Part II

ever-so-slightly-monstrous:

elbiotipo:

elbiotipo:

Fuck that post going around saying “you can have coffee in your story without justifying it :) you don’t need to explain everything :)” I want, no, I DEMAND a fully researched ethnobotanical paper on every single food item in your work, if you don’t explain to me where did potatoes come from in your fantasy setting or don’t explain how the industry of coffee works over interstellar distances with full detail you are doing things wrong and I personally hate you and I hate your stupid story, fuck you

Why are your stupid little wizards and knights eating potato stew in your dumb European middle ages fantasy world. Where did they get potatoes from. Where is the center of domestication of potatoes, do you have a fantasy Andean civilization? What are the social and economic consequences of having such a calorie rich crop in cold climates. I don’t care about “themes” or “enemies to lovers with found family”, I didn’t ask about that. Where does your idiot space captain gets their shitty coffee from. Is it imported from Earth? Are there coffee growing worlds? Is it an alien species replacement with the same name? What are the social consequences of that? Don’t try to change the subject, I’ll stop pointing the gun when I want, I’m trying to have a conversation here,

gold in them there tags

dailyquests:

dailyquests:

• Survive for 10 Minutes with a Werewolf.

• In a Fight.

girlballs:

vaya-mernda:

puppyboygf:

girlballs:

girlballs:

if you behave like this on tumblr i’m killing you with rocks

also have this

Is there one of these for non horny art?

yeah here

king-of-the-freeway:

cathugging:

yzghuldar:

mingpicket:

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

tundrakatiebean:

krudman:

rimpyspinkeye:

hellsite-hall-of-fame:

psych-is-the-name:

psych-is-the-name:

IT’S FINALLY HERE! The true full size of my “do you love the colour of the sky HD remake director’s cut” tumblr post

This ended up being 2 ¾ inches wide by 36 FEET LONG. 

The 2 ¾ inch width was chosen because that’s the same width as a pretty average phone screen, and I wanted to know how physically far you have to scroll to get past this post.

also dont tell my boss that I got into the art gallery before we opened just to set up this rainbow CVS receipt looking motherfucker. in my defense i literally couldn’t find any other location that was long enough to show this off

Please consider subscribing to my Patreon to gain access to my original content a week before its posted on tumblr!

reblogging this because the og post is suddenly getting a bunch of notes and i want everyone to see just how long this motherfucker is in real life

that is impressively long omg

also you all should be so grateful I never reblogged that post because WOW